Why date nights are so important…

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After 13 years of marriage I finally realized that all the advise I was given about going on a date with your husband is really important. For years I blew it off.

For years I laughed off the thought of dating my husband.
I thought…

  • Sure, “when we get some spare time”.
  • Sure, “when the kids are older”.
  • Sure, “when we win the lottery”.

I wasn’t sure if all these people who told me to date my husband knew the cost of a babysitter for 3 kids and the price of a decent meal out.

Regardless, life kept getting in the way. I got sick and then better. Pete got busier at work and we had a new baby. Just when the big girls were okay with us leaving for a few hours every once in a while, we started over again. We were totally okay with not going out together because we finally had our much awaited baby girl. Life was good. But people still told me to go on dates with my husband.

And then that little baby girls started to grow up. She turned three and we couldn’t believe that we were again over the baby stage. We actually were in a place where the baby was okay with us leaving her for a few hours with her sisters and babysitter. There was no reason why we shouldn’t spend some time together just the two of us.

And so, we went out to dinner. We ate really good food while looking out on the waves crashing on the sandy shores.

We tried to take a picture of just the two of us. {We need to work on this one a little better}. Next time.


We watched fishermen coming in at dusk with their catch.

We walked up and down the wood planks of the Oceanside Pier and stopped to look at the pelicans.

We even saw a man making the biggest bubbles ever.

It was at this point that we started to feel the kid blues. The sadness you feel when you see something really cool and think about how great the kids would think it is too. We headed home shortly after. On the drive home we realized how nice it was to get away for a bit just the two of us. It was not about being away from our kids because we love having them around… it is about us being together. When you are together as a family it’s about the kids, like it should be, when it’s just the two of you together it’s about two people connecting. I finally understand that now… after 13 years!


Tell me, do you ever go on dates with your husband?

Heather Reese
the authorHeather Reese
Heather Delaney Reese is the storyteller and photographer behind the lifestyle and family travel blog, It's a Lovely Life®! For the past decade, she has vacationed over 150 days a year with her family. She is a vegan, and loves being by the water, spending time with her children, husband, 2 Shih Tzus and Cat.


  • We have date nights at home right now I am not working and my fiance is laid-off for the winter but once he is back to work we will have date nights out.

  • We have been married for a little over 6 years and have two girls and we never go anywhere just the two of us anymore. I am a SAHM so I am with the kids all day and when he gets home from work usually around 7 7:30 he eats dinner and does his paperwork and then off to bed. On the weekends he wants to spend time together as a family. I never really thought about a date night, I bet it would improve our relationship.

  • We don’t go out with out our son really and our second son is due in less than a month. We really should. Thanks for the post.

  • I think date nights are important, but I’m feeling myself falling into the same rut you were in. Seems there’s always a reason not to go out. I think anymore our dates consist of grocery shopping or shopping of some sort. Not what I’d consider a date. I think I may need to discuss with hubby soon that we need a REAL date!

  • We have not even dates since before my daughter was born. She will be 5 next month. We try to make time when not exhausted at night to watch a movie at home. We did this year start to meet for lunch after I would drop off the Girl at preschool. So nice to be able to eat hot food! Net year both will be in school all day so we will have some days for us, or more likely working on home projects .

  • I agree that date nights are very important but sadly that is something that my husband and I have neglected. On Valentine’s Day we had our very first overnight alone (our children are 6, 7 and 8) and it was magical. Nothing fancy but just enjoying spending time together and remembering why we fell in love with each other in the first place!

  • You are completely correct. It is important that the relationship changes drastically after children, it is super important to take the time to for each other like when you were pre-kids dating

  • Like you we did not for awhile and just in the last few months we have a couple times. Def well needed….

  • Date nights are essential. Not only do you children need to feel loved but first comes your husband. I always tend to put our children first because they are so young but I need remember my husband should always comes first and to show him I love him. Date nights allow us to do this for each other.

  • We have been married for 25 years and have 8 children. Unlike the first 15 years of marriage, we try to have a date night once a week. It doesn’t have to be expensive and it doesn’t have to be long. It is amazing how beneficial this small attempt at spouse connection is. It goes a looooong way in helping to nurture a healthy, loving marriage!!!!

  • Date nights are super important. We are married almost 43 years and are still telling young couples how important a date night is to the relationship. It does not have to cost a lot because the only point to the date is quality time together. You can go on date any time of the day or night and be always ready for a very happy time. I still try to look as wonderful as I can for my hubby everytime we have a date. I’m still in love with my handsome, romantic man.

  • I have been married for 21 years. We have date nights. Some times we don’t even spend a lot of money as long as were together that’s all that matters

  • I try to go on dates with him! However we just moved out of state away from family and anyone we trust to watch our two little ones, so it’s been difficult.

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