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I was recently asked to give advice to someone just getting married.
I thought long and hard about what advice I would give and if I was even qualified to give such advice, as I’m only been married for 15 years. I was also concerned if I had anything to share that works for us, and would work for others. After really thinking about it I realized that for us, a happy marriage really came down to three things we do and I knew I wanted to talk more about them and hear about tips others have learned.
The most important tip I wanted to share was that marriage is not hard like it’s made out to be.
I would imagine that if you think marriage is hard then much of your life, as a whole would be hard, and that your marriage is just a small part of your “hard” life.
On the other hand, with priorities on communication, compassion, love and these three tips, marriage is one of the best things in life and makes life far from hard… it makes life so much more beautiful.
Here are the three tips you need to have a happy marriage.
1. Pick your battles- If I had to pick one tip it would be this one. Figure out very quickly how important something is to you and if it’s not that important let it go. If my husband knows that something is very important to me, like our daughters school, he will trust my decision. If I know that something is important to him I do the same. It is very rare that the same thing is overly important to each of us and when that happens we talk it out and we soon discover that it’s more important to one or the other of us anyways.
2. Always remember you are in it together- There are going to be very good times in your lives and bad times. Never forget that you are not alone and remember to support the other person. You are a team not two competing members of a team. There is no competition. If one of you wins you both win. If one of you loses you are both losers.
3. Know your strengths and weakness and then divide to conquer. Yep, you are a team but you each have strengths and weaknesses. My husband is a much better negotiator than I am so he is in charge of any situation that involves negotiations. I’m an awesome paper pusher (sad but true) so I take care of paperwork. We rely on each others strengths and we cover each others weaknesses each and every day.