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Heather and I had the rare opportunity to get away for the night without the kids this past weekend. But, like most parents, many of our conversations revolved around our kids anyhow. One of the things we had a great laugh about were all the embarrassing moments I’ve had as a Dad. I thought it would be fun to share my 4 most embarrassing moments so everyone can share in my humiliation. So, here it goes:
- I distinctly remember one day when I was sent to the store to pick up some things we needed for home. I decided it would be a good chance to give Heather a break so I took our daughter Madeline, who was about 6 months old at the time. Madeline was a really difficult baby….screaming and crying constantly, especially when she didn’t have her mom with her. Anyhow, it still sounded easy to me….get in, get my shopping done, and get out. No problem, right? Well, it was pretty rare that I was by myself with the baby and if I am being honest I was over my head. Not only was I over my head, I was scared of my 6 month old baby…. I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to calm her down if something upset her. This is exactly what happened on this trip to the store that was supposed to go so smoothly. Anyhow, the moment I walked in the door, something set her off. She began to cry. I began to get nervous…doing everything I knew in order to calm her down. Except, nothing worked….her anger grew and her cries got louder. I decided I couldn’t abandon this shopping trip because I would have been seen as a failure. I kept going….the baby kept crying, and the looks from the other shoppers kept getting more intense. I had the feeling inside that the moms I saw were judging me… Eventually the shopping trip was over, and as soon as we were back in our car, the crying stopped. This was my first really embarrassing moment as a Dad, but it wasn’t my last! Tip: No shopping trip is worth it. Leave and regroup for next time.
- Ok, this one got a little messy….literally. This story dealt with my 3rd child, Emily when she was a baby. She loved those squeezy pouches with pureed fruits and veggies. The only problem was that these things would cause her some intestinal distress from time to time. I decided to take little Emily with me to get some new tires on my car. Anyhow, I fed her one of those squeezy pouches right before we left for the tire shop. We got out of the car, and I took Emily and her diaper bag out with me. We went to the waiting room for what seemed like an eternity. Then the trouble started….first it was the smell….next it was the wetness I felt on my leg (since she was sitting on my lap). I instantly noticed that Emily had a major blowout from her diaper and it was leaking all over her clothes. I quickly took Emily to the tire shop bathroom, and did my best to clean her up…there was no changing table there. Her onesie could not be saved…too much had leaked and there was no way she could wear it again without some major bleaching. In fact, it smelled so bad I just threw it in the trash there. I’m sure the guys at the tire shop really appreciated that! I soon realized I didn’t have a change of clothes. The end result was that I had to wrap her up in my jacket and wait for my car to get done. Tip: This ended up being a very stressful situation that could have been avoided by remembering to bring a change of clothes with me!
- The next story involved my middle daughter Ashley when she was about 1. I was dressed in a suit for a meeting with some clients…suit, tie, and trying to look my best. Ashley was sitting happily on my lap while I was typing some emails on my computer. I gave Ashley back to Heather and ran out the door to my meeting. This was a new client that I hadn’t met before in person, so it was important. The meeting seemed to go well, but I kept noticing my client looking at my shirt and tie oddly. After we parted ways, I looked down and realized that my tie had so much slobber on it that it looked like a cow had chewed on it. It turned out that Ashley had just begun teething and was using my tie for some relief. Not the first impression I wanted to make. Tip: Always have teething toys with you and prepare ahead by using Baby Orajel™ Homeopathic Teething Gel. We kept some at different places of our house when the girls were all babies. It gave them relief from teething pain and gave Heather and I our sanity back from dealing with a fussy, teething baby. It’s also a safe, effective, and naturally derived teething pain relief, which is beyond important to me. Did you know that they also have Tooth and Gum Cleansers just for babies? Taking care of our girls’ teeth is important to me, and I’m glad they have something just for babies’ little teeth… and that it doesn’t include chewing on my tie!
- Embarrassing Dad moment #4 happened at a department store with Ashley again. I was walking around the tool department, checking out the riding mowers, and feeding Ashley a bottle at the same time. After she drank about half, I decided to burp her. Unfortunately the burping turned into a projectile vomit situation all over the riding mower. She didn’t just get a little on there, but it went all over the mower, creating a huge mess. I told the nearby clerk about what happened and that I would clean it up if he got me some paper towels. He was shocked at the size of the mess, and a little grossed out too. This was a younger kid that clearly didn’t have any experience with a baby. He called over the intercom for someone to clean it up and he insisted that they have their person do the cleanup. I really just wanted to crawl in a hole. I even offered to buy the mower (luckily they declined) and then I quickly left the store and abandoned the rest of my shopping plans. Tip: Bring burp rags with you everywhere you go and prepare for spit up before you burp your baby. Trust me on this one.
Well, that about wraps it up. These were all embarrassing Dad moments, but to be honest, I wouldn’t have wanted them to happen in any other way. I look back fondly on the times when my kids were little babies…times were a little hectic then, but they were also pretty great!
Do you have any embarrassing baby moments?