I’m a Crappy Mom… are you too?

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{I apologize if the word crap offends you… it has a special place in this post and I felt it was important to use it}

I love happiness. It’s no secret. I write here at It’s a Lovely Life! with my reader’s happiness in mind. Even if I write about something serious I do so with humor {like my PTA post}. I never want this to be a place that brings about any other emotion but happiness for you my awesome reader, and me too!

With this in mind, I was compelled to write this post after I saw another blogger attacked for posting the picture above. It was another “episode” of MOMMY WARS!

I’ve been lucky to have avoided any episodes of mommy wars here… but I really wanted to share with you all how I felt after reading some comments where other Moms were called “crappy” moms. It started me thinking about all the perceived “crappy” ways I’m a “crappy” mom! I might share tips and tricks that work for my family but I am by no means saying that everyone has to follow my lead. I just love to share what I find to be working right now, for my family. What I don’t normally share are my “crappy” mom moves. Here are a few:

•  I take my kids out of school every once in awhile and we go to Disneyland.  They are both “A” students and I do this when they have nothing important going on. I think fun is just as important as learning. I’m sure some people think I’m pretty “crappy” for doing this.
• All three of my kids had formula. Two of them had pumped breast milk too… I did this for medical reasons for two of them and the third was adopted and I was not lactating. I could care less how people feed their babies as long as they and their doctor agree they are doing the best for their child.  It is none of my business and I trust moms and dads to do their best. There are so many reasons that a child can not have breast milk… it’s not my place to question anyone’s business but my own. I did my best, but I still get called “crappy” because of this.
• I’m raising my kids as vegetarians. The older 2 chose this way of eating a few years ago. The 2-year-old chose this too when she would refuse meat. I introduced meat to all of my children and have nothing against it per se… I just think it’s healthier not to eat it and I don’t like to eat it because I think of animals as friends, not food. My husband eats meat. I still love him. If my children decided to eat meat tomorrow I would be perfectly okay with that and I would buy and cook it for them. I know this makes me a “crappy” mom to many people.
• My girls are all current on their vaccines. The older two were born premature and had some minor health issues so I took their doctors advice and did a delayed vaccination schedule for the first year or so. I believe in vaccinations. This makes me a “crappy” mom to some.
• I used disposable diapers with all three. Yep, I’m a crappy mom {hehe… pun intended}
• For their first couple of years… the older two slept in bed with me. Yes, I said me. My sweet husband was sick of being kicked and pushed and made a habit of sleeping on the floor. Baby number 3 slept next to me in a co-sleeper attached to my bed. “Crappy” mom here!
• I’ve been talking to my kids about smoking, drugs, alcohol, and the right kind of husband to marry since they were born. I’ve used discussions and terms that are age appropriate… but we have these talks often. If they get pregnant, drunk, smoke, do drugs and marry a jerk at 16 I take full responsibility. I’ve made it my life goal for them to have a good like {whatever they consider good and makes them happy works for me}. I guess this makes me a “crappy” mom.
• My daughter knows she’s adopted. She’s not “special” because she is adopted. It’s just the way she came into our family. My other two are not “special” because they have my DNA. I talk openly and positively about the selfless person that placed her for adoption. I do this out of love for both my daughter and her first mom.  I know it scares people that we are this open and they think I’m a “crappy” mom.
• I homeschool one of my daughters with a program where she has instruction in a traditional environment one day a week. This is not the mainstream that we are used to. I’m a “crappy” mom, what can I say?
• I yell, I make demands and I’ve been known to threaten the life of a stuffed animal. I have my moments. I’m tough and understanding, but I will only settle for the best from my kids. I’m a “crappy” mom!

I think you get the picture. We are all doing our best. We all wake up each day and put our best foot forward. We have the same goal. Us moms all want our kids to be happy and healthy. We all go about this in a different way. Breast or bottle. Formula or breast milk. Disposable or cloth… we do what is best for our child and our family.

I rise to the challenge and invite you to join me… let’s judge less. Let’s share ideas more. Let’s not just get along… let’s use our shared resources to help each other raise the best kids possible. Let’s remember the old saying “if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all”. Let’s share our opinions and respect others.

Let’s focus on loving our kids {not hating each other}!