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Pete and I love being the parents to all girls. We see it as nothing short of amazing to get to be their parents! We often get questions and comments about not having a son. Although we would have been thrilled to have boys or girls, we are very happy to have our girls and we never feel like we are missing out by not having a son too.
Here are 10 things you should never say to a mom (or dad) of all girls.
1. So are you going to keep trying for a boy? Why would we… if we had had a boy we would have been thrilled, just like we were thrilled when each of our daughters was born. In fact when we started the adoption process we were specifically asked if we wanted a boy or girl and we said girl (but we would have been just as happy if “she” had turned out to be a “he”).
2. Your husband must be so upset to not have a boy. What? Really? Nope, not mine! He loves being a dad to girls. Again, he wanted another girl, but would have been ecstatic with a boy too.
3. Does your husband hate being the only boy in the house? Not really, I mean the dog and two of the cats are male too so he’s not really alone… but I know that’s not what you meant. This makes us laugh each time it’s mentioned. The only time my husband is going to be upset is when the girls are all teenagers. That is going to be interesting!
4. Did you try for a boy each time? Say what? You aren’t asking about THAT are you? No, we didn’t try for anything for the kids that came to us that way. Not that it is any of your business if we did.
5. Aren’t you sad that you don’t have a son? No! And we get really upset when asked this in front of our girls. Girls are awesome, boys are awesome and that’s about it. Asking it in front of our daughters makes them feel like they are not as desirable as boys. Please don’t do this.
6. Did you cry when your last turned out to be a girl and not a boy? I did cry… how did you know? It wasn’t because she was a girl though… I cried from joy that she was here, healthy and ours!
7. You know there are things you could have done to ensure you had a boy. So sad, three girls. (normally said with a big sad face). Yes, I’ve heard of these “things” you speak of. We tried for 4 years to have our third child. We endeared many losses and rounds of IVF <— (the things you speak of that can guarantee gender if requested and paid for) we could have done that many times and we didn’t. We would have been thrilled with another girl or a boy, so we thought that was a pointless test and expense for us.
8. You know that you will have to pay for 3 weddings right? Yes. Thanks for the reminder. Maybe we should have thought about that before we had kids and only parented any boys we may have had. I mean what’s the point of having girls if you have to pay for their weddings too? I feel so silly for wanting and enjoying my daughters now. (said no “me” ever)
9. You know that girls leave their moms, boys don’t. Nope, haven’t heard this to be true. I have a mom and I haven’t left her yet, so…
10. Isn’t it sad that your husband won’t get to do “boy” things with a son? This one makes me want to scream. All of my girls have gone through fazes of only wanting to wear dresses or insisting on dressing up as a princess at Disneyland… but they have also all loved to play sports with their dad and that might be considered “boyish”. Our middle daughter is dedicated to Crossfit like her dad. Plus Pete is more than willing to do “girl” things… whatever that means or is. We don’t limit our daughters based on their gender so this has never been an issue. My oldest hasn’t ever missed watching a football game with her dad either. So no my husband isn’t missing out.
My brother has 3 girls and him and his wife get asked some of these a lot. Sometimes people need to think more before they speak and realize sometimes silence is golden.
Oh please tell me that you smacked some of these people who asked the questions lol My Brother has 3 boys and gets the same questions asked pretty much haha He is as happy as can be. As long as they are happy and healthy, that’s all that matters.
Unfortunately, everyone has opinions. People say the same things to people who have all boys.
Being a mom of 2 cute girls I know this is such an important topic that relates to me very much. And Yes, people keep me asking if I would try for a boy up next, lol. But honestly both me & my husband are so happy as long as the kids are healthy, no harm if you have all girls at home!
I think that’s the general feeling with most people – wanting babies that are healthy and happy. I don’t even really think some people know they might be offending someone when they say things like this.
I can top that, try being a woman that doesn’t want kids at all. I get a ton of crap from people because of it and I have learned just to smile and ask do you justify to everyone why you opted to have them? or better still, is it because you can’t have kids? Yes I can have them, I just do NOT wish to have them. Aren’t people astoundingly presumptuous and obnoxious sometimes?
Here in the Philippines, the groom’s side pays for the wedding expenses (ideally). 🙂
This is so true. Although we have two boys I often get asked these same type of questions. It is almost as if people think that we are somehow able to magically bring forth either a boy or a girl!
This is awesome and I can’t believe you have heard this stuff. Wow do these people hear themselves? Thanks for sharing.
I don’t know why people feel they have to comment about family dynamics, It is none of their business. I have two girls and I can relate to everything that you wrote.
This would go for all boys, too. I have only one child (a son) and I get the, “You only had one child?” or “Are you going to have him a sibling?” or “You know he won’t have anyone when he grows up, so having an only child is selfish”. Yes, I had someone ask/say all of these to me before.
These are so rude especially the person telling you its so sad you have 3 girls. I know its the american dream to have one of each gender minimum but sometimes it doesnt work like that. My friend is having her 5th baby…and its another boy she has all boys and everyone is sad for her. I didnt know people were so cruel about naturals general selections!
No I haven’t. My only son is in heaven….so I better not get any slide remarks!! We raise our youngest grand son now and everyone has been very supported!! Sorry some haven’t been with you. just ignore.
So rude, and such hurtful things for the daughters to overhear. It seems like people will say something about everything! Your family is a blessing, your girls are beautiful, and I’m sorry you get such negativity.
How about ” You know what causes that right?” People should really consider what they are saying.
Ha! We got that from my FIL when we found out we were pregnant with our third child. It was hilarious. It wouldn’t be appropriate from anyone else, but would probably get a remark along the lines of ‘I think we’re experts at baby-making by now!’ Lol
People say the oddest things. I;m sorry people suck and are so rude!!
Uh yeah.. regarding #10.. my kids to opposite gender stuff all the time. I know some families that only have one sex children. I would never say these things to them. I know it isn’t something they can control!
Some people just don’t think before they speak, right? And it is just so rude and mean. Sad.
As a mom of all boys, I can relate in a different way. I get the other side of things and it can be hard. But I know you love your girls and wouldn’t want your family to be any other way!
I have two daughters and no sons. I can’t believe people actually said some of these things to you. I don’t know if it’s funny or sad!
Oh my gosh!! That is super ridiculous that anyone has said these things to you! I feel like every life is a blessing and no matter the gender the life is precious. I love that you have three girls and can show them what a strong woman looks like~
Ugh, people and their audacity! As a mom of a daughter, I THINK IT’S AWESOME! And just like you said, should the next one be a boy then FANTASTIC… one of each to experience different things with. BUT if they next one turns out to be another girl then… FANTASTIC! I can’t wait!
Ugh, people are so insensitive. I can’t believe they actually said these things.. especially in front of your girls! People should just be happy that they can even HAVE children. So many people out there can’t.
This is hilarious! As the oldest of 3 girls, I have for sure heard some of these comments said to my mom!
My fiance has two daughters and the biggest source of frustration for him for having two girls has been, “What, you couldn’t make a boy?” What!?
Well, some people can be insensitive – hate to say that, but there are people who don’t even think before they speak. I wish people would be more considerate and not so pesky, right?
I have three boys and so I feel your pain. Why people feel the need to even say anything like this is beyond me. What do they think we’ll say – yes, we’d keenly swap a child for one of the opposite sex? My blood boils.
The things that come out of people’s mouths is astounding! Thanks for standing up for you and your daughters!
It is amazing what people will say. I love the “You know you will have to pay for three wedding.” Don’t you just want to look at them and say “SERIOUSLY”
I seriously cannot believe some of the things that people say. They just aren’t thinking before they open their mouths. Thanks for sharing this.
OMGosh are you SERIOUS!?! People have REALLY said these things to you!?! HOW RUDE! I just can not believe people sometimes. I’ve gotten comments regarding all the kids I have so I guess I”m not surprised.
Yea, I think those words are kind of rude or impolite. Some say it with a bit of a joke but they shouldn’t do that.
Holy cow!!! Those are sooooo rude!!! I have three girls and usually people look at me with smiles and say, “Three girls?” We did get a few comments about trying for a boy after we had our third, and one comment (from my AUNT of all people) about it now that we’re pregnant with our fourth (no, we’re not trying for a boy, we just decided to have another baby ’cause we like kids and want lots – boys or girls). I love my girls and they are SO much fun. Actually, I grew up with two brothers and always wanted sisters, so I guess I’m getting my girl-time in now! 🙂
Those were really rude questions to ask. Having a child is a blessing, regardless of whether it is a boy or a girl.
I have three boys and sometimes ppl ask me in front of the boys if I wish I had a girl…but not too often. I love my boys and wouldn’t trade any of them! I think I was meant to be the mom of boys. (I would have welcomed a girl or a boy any time I was pregnant, though!)
That’s how I feel too. i think we are meant to have the kids we have 🙂
People comment on our having four girls all the time. I always respond that someone up there must think we are experts at taking care of girls! Lol
I often hear the opposite: Girls always stay with their mama, boys leave and spend more time with their wife’s family.
Who can see the future? I agree, the idea of acting like someone should be disappointed about the gender of their children is offensive. I’m a woman, I’m a disappointment because I wasn’t a man??
Yep, I’m pretty sure my parents heard almost all of these. (And that last one in particular made ME want to scream. 😛 ) I’m not sure if they ever heard the “you know there are things you can do…” because that wasn’t so well-known when we were younger, but the rest of these sound quite familiar.
I don’t know if we are surrounded by more polite company or what, but my first three are girls, and I don’t remember hearing many comments along these lines before my son came along. (We also haven’t heard the “are you finished yet?”-type comments many parents start to hear when they hit #3 or #4.)
My husband and I have 6 girls! No boys! We love it! We get many many looks and stares…. ( first of all for having 6 kiddos …. Then the fact that they are all girls) We have heard all these statements.
I’m sure you can totally relate! How lucky you all are to have six kids! I bet you have a home filled with tons of fun!