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Marriage is a big commitment. It can be the beginning of a beautiful life with your partner. No marriage will ever be without heartache and problems, but you can find true joy and fulfillment in marriage. Here is some advice to consider before you get married.
1. Communication becomes vital ability number one! You must learn how to communicate. Marriage is all about teamwork. There is nothing more frustrating than a spouse who feels like they are talking to a wall. You will need to be an expert communicator to keep a healthy marriage.
2. You aren’t just marrying your partner. You get the whole family. When you get married you are getting the whole package. Not just a spouse, but all the family and the dynamics of that family as well.
3. You will have to change. The truth is to make any relationship work you will have to make small changes and compromises. And those changes are worth it.
4. You need similar pictures of your future. You shouldn’t get married if you want 6 kids and to live on a farm with chickens and goats and he dreams of living in the big city and travel abroad for most of your life. Have similar visions for your future or one of you will be sorely disappointed.
5. There is no “Just You” anymore. Marriage is all about being a team. People who don’t get the “we” in marriage don’t have a very happy marriage.
6. It’s okay to fight. You will fight and argue. And that is okay and totally normal. You need to both learn how to fight fair. Learn how to come to an understanding. And learn how to say, “I am sorry.”
7. How will you handle money. Money is one of the top topics for fighting in marriage. Set up a plan of who will handle the money. If you will have joint or separate accounts. There is no one way. Just find a way that you can both agree on so there are no surprises.
8. Little things can become big things. When you are living with someone 24/7 and spending years together, you find that little nuances can quickly become big annoying habits that will drive you bonkers. Learn to get over them, or learn to communicate that you really don’t like them in a nice way.
9. It may not be the fairytale you imagined. We sometimes set ourselves up for failure by having unrealistic or un-communicated expectations of what marriage will be. Try to get rid of all of those fantasies and expectations before marriage. Allow you and your spouse to create something original together.
10. It will always be a work in progress. There is no perfect marriage. Only marriages where everyone is committed to work hard at being the best spouse they can be.
11. *Bonus* Compromise is going to be your new motto. You will quickly learn to pick your battles. Seeing your spouse happy will be your number one goal and compromise will help make that happen.
WHAT DID YOU WISH YOU KNEW BEFORE YOU GOT MARRIED?