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10 Things You Need To Know Before You Get Married

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Things You need to know before you get married

Marriage is a big commitment. It can be the beginning of a beautiful life with your partner. No marriage will ever be without heartache and problems, but you can find true joy and fulfillment in marriage. Here is some advice to consider before you get married.

1. Communication becomes vital ability number one! You must learn how to communicate. Marriage is all about teamwork. There is nothing more frustrating than a spouse who feels like they are talking to a wall. You will need to be an expert communicator to keep a healthy marriage.

2. You aren’t just marrying your partner. You get the whole family. When you get married you are getting the whole package. Not just a spouse, but all the family and the dynamics of that family as well.

3. You will have to change. The truth is to make any relationship work you will have to make small changes and compromises. And those changes are worth it.

4. You need similar pictures of your future. You shouldn’t get married if you want 6 kids and to live on a farm with chickens and goats and he dreams of living in the big city and travel abroad for most of your life. Have similar visions for your future or one of you will be sorely disappointed.

5. There is no “Just You” anymore. Marriage is all about being a team. People who don’t get the “we” in marriage don’t have a very happy marriage.

6. It’s okay to fight. You will fight and argue. And that is okay and totally normal. You need to both learn how to fight fair. Learn how to come to an understanding. And learn how to say, “I am sorry.”

7. How will you handle money. Money is one of the top topics for fighting in marriage. Set up a plan of who will handle the money. If you will have joint or separate accounts. There is no one way. Just find a way that you can both agree on so there are no surprises.

8. Little things can become big things. When you are living with someone 24/7 and spending years together, you find that little nuances can quickly become big annoying habits that will drive you bonkers. Learn to get over them, or learn to communicate that you really don’t like them in a nice way.

9. It may not be the fairytale you imagined. We sometimes set ourselves up for failure by having unrealistic or un-communicated expectations of what marriage will be. Try to get rid of all of those fantasies and expectations before marriage. Allow you and your spouse to create something original together.

10. It will always be a work in progress. There is no perfect marriage. Only marriages where everyone is committed to work hard at being the best spouse they can be.

11. *Bonus* Compromise is going to be your new motto. You will quickly learn to pick your battles. Seeing your spouse happy will be your number one goal and compromise will help make that happen.

WHAT DID YOU WISH YOU KNEW BEFORE YOU GOT MARRIED?

Heather Reese
the authorHeather Reese
Heather Delaney Reese is the storyteller and photographer behind the lifestyle and family travel blog It's a Lovely Life®! In addition to traveling 150+ days a year, she also helps new bloggers build successful blogging businesses.

37 Comments

  • I love your list. I definitley agree with a marriage being a work in progress. Things change and sometimes we have to learn to adapt!

  • Communication is HUGE. We probably should have taken a class before our big day, hahaha, it gets better with time though.

  • Communication was so different when we were in our twenties. Now that we’re in our forties we do a much better job,

  • Yep- Disney has ruined my marriage! The fairy tale isn’t always “happily” ever after. I love my hubby, but it is not always going to be smooth sailing.

  • I would like to add another point. I think it is very important to have conversations about parenting. Know what your boyfriend/girlfriend’s expectations are. Also, understand each other on parenting skills. It can save a lot of problems later.

  • I like how you put communication as your number one! SO many problems in marriages can be avoided by simply learning how to better communicate!

  • My daughter had a super tough time dealing with the family that came with her husband. They were way, way, WAY into her business and she couldn’t take it.

  • This is a great list! I’d also add that marriage is not 50/50. You both have to give 110%. The better we get at understanding each other and meeting each other’s needs, the happier our marriage gets.

  • Not only is fighting normal, but it’s also healthy. A lot of people don’t realize that.

  • I’d add…..lay it all on the table…. I would like to know about past relationships, especially the ones that didn’t end well. they are a great clue to how he or she handles relationships based on the things they say. If he doesn’t take any responsibility, you should ask yourself why

  • I like the one where you mention that you’re basically marrying the whole family. Luckily I love my inlaws. I’m happy that I get along so well with my MIL especially. We’ve been married almost 17 years. That’s a LONG time!

  • I think everything you mentioned is what I would share with my kids. I love my inlaws so I am super lucky in that dept.

  • As I’m going to through my separation and future divorce from my soon-to-be-ex-husband I have gone through many of these things. And noticed how wrong I was to marry him. I did it for the wrong reasons and I was not ready and I did not know what I was getting myself into.

  • All TRUE! I have learned that marriage is hard work and it’s heart work. I am learning things about myself (good and bad). It’s like holding a mirror up with no filter. You see your beauty but you also see where you could use some work.

  • Everyone told me that you marry the whole family. I thought I knew what that meant but it took me a while to realize it!

  • This is a good list. #10 is especially true – things are always evolving!

  • Getting the whole family was probably the hardest pill for me to swallow. There are some members that I will never get along with. I just had to accept that and be civil. That’s the best they’ll get out of me.

  • Great list. My boyfriend and I have been together for four years (and under unusual circumstances have lived together for the entirety of that four years) so I can honestly say that we’ve already dealt with basically all of what you’ve listed above. We’re essentially married without the certificate, haha. I don’t think much will change at all once we do get married 🙂

  • What a fabulous list! Although even after 14 years I have to correct my hubs when he says, “he’s” going anywhere. I’m like.. “Oh just you are going?”

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